Something told me to do it
This seems to be the new normal in my life. Something in my gut or heart or head or just something told me to do it... Let me tell you a bit about me. This 2019 year has been the most insane year I've had in a very long time. If I could write it all down, the things that I have learned would blow your mind. But I have to start somewhere, so lets back up to about August of 2019. I was finding myself really down. Really sad. Not depressed I want to hurt myself sad, but more short tempered, lost purpose, and just generally mean and angry to everyone I love. If you really know me, I am anything but those things. I am funny, like I laugh at my own jokes funny. I'm loyal, I'm understanding, I'm compassionate, I'm generous, and I love with one million souls. So to find myself in this kind of predicament was really weighing on me. I was holding in so much hate and found it really hard to forgive.
So you know what I did? In the words of Michael Jackson, I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways. I did something for me. And I felt GUILTY! But I did it anyways for me. It was tough putting myself first. I went to see a tarot card reader. I'd like to think that Margie was what started this swirling ball of energy that found purpose, but it was in me. Albeit buried, but it was there. I was skeptical, but Margie told me things she could have never known. I decided to take a leap of faith and start making changes for myself within myself.
Since that day when I met with Margie, I hired an amazing Life/Business Coach. Dr. K took the time to sit with me. He gave me a safe place to realize it is ok to feel. It's ok to let go of the hurt and pain. It is ok to forgive. Most of all, hate is heavy. Releasing that hate I had buried was just the beginning of the taste of bubbly I needed. He helped me tap into writing as an outlet to express my emotions. He taught me that I don't have to go through life being reactionary. I can feel and let it go. And you know what? I have never been happier. Hiring Dr. K allowed me to tap into myself. To utilize these tools and strengths I had, that were just buried so deeply has been such a transformation. I knew about all of these things, I just wasn't using the tools I had correctly.
One of the first things Dr. K taught me was gratitude. Everyone knows gratitude right? But do you really? Because shamefully, I didn't. I was thankful for my coffee, but that was superficial. When I realized gratitude is so much deeper, that was the day my life changed. Today I keep a gratitude journal. It comes everywhere with me. I write down 7 things I am truly grateful for every single day. And I feel those things deep down. I thank God and the universe for blessing me with those things every day. If I could tell one person on my old struggle bus, it would be to force yourself to sit down every damn day and WRITE IT DOWN! Do it! What do you really have to lose?
I learned there is no growth without darkness. And the day you start feeling grateful, the lightness burns so brightly that you have no choice but to grow and evolve into a better person than you were yesterday. I was going through my day to day life like a robot. Trapped in the cycle of whoa is me. I couldn't see the light. But you know what? I found it! It's inside of me. And I learned that I have this light that is so bright inside me that if I can tap into that, my choices and possibilities for what I can achieve are endless! So I invite you to ride my wave and follow me. Let's see what amazing things happen!
So you know what I did? In the words of Michael Jackson, I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways. I did something for me. And I felt GUILTY! But I did it anyways for me. It was tough putting myself first. I went to see a tarot card reader. I'd like to think that Margie was what started this swirling ball of energy that found purpose, but it was in me. Albeit buried, but it was there. I was skeptical, but Margie told me things she could have never known. I decided to take a leap of faith and start making changes for myself within myself.
Since that day when I met with Margie, I hired an amazing Life/Business Coach. Dr. K took the time to sit with me. He gave me a safe place to realize it is ok to feel. It's ok to let go of the hurt and pain. It is ok to forgive. Most of all, hate is heavy. Releasing that hate I had buried was just the beginning of the taste of bubbly I needed. He helped me tap into writing as an outlet to express my emotions. He taught me that I don't have to go through life being reactionary. I can feel and let it go. And you know what? I have never been happier. Hiring Dr. K allowed me to tap into myself. To utilize these tools and strengths I had, that were just buried so deeply has been such a transformation. I knew about all of these things, I just wasn't using the tools I had correctly.
One of the first things Dr. K taught me was gratitude. Everyone knows gratitude right? But do you really? Because shamefully, I didn't. I was thankful for my coffee, but that was superficial. When I realized gratitude is so much deeper, that was the day my life changed. Today I keep a gratitude journal. It comes everywhere with me. I write down 7 things I am truly grateful for every single day. And I feel those things deep down. I thank God and the universe for blessing me with those things every day. If I could tell one person on my old struggle bus, it would be to force yourself to sit down every damn day and WRITE IT DOWN! Do it! What do you really have to lose?
I learned there is no growth without darkness. And the day you start feeling grateful, the lightness burns so brightly that you have no choice but to grow and evolve into a better person than you were yesterday. I was going through my day to day life like a robot. Trapped in the cycle of whoa is me. I couldn't see the light. But you know what? I found it! It's inside of me. And I learned that I have this light that is so bright inside me that if I can tap into that, my choices and possibilities for what I can achieve are endless! So I invite you to ride my wave and follow me. Let's see what amazing things happen!
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