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Something told me to do it

This seems to be the new normal in my life.  Something in my gut or heart or head or just something told me to do it...   Let me tell you a bit about me.  This 2019 year has been the most insane year I've had in a very long time.  If I could write it all down, the things that I have learned would blow your mind. But I have to start somewhere, so lets back up to about August of 2019.  I was finding myself really down.  Really sad.  Not depressed I want to hurt myself sad, but more short tempered, lost purpose, and just generally mean and angry to everyone I love.  If you really know me, I am anything but those things.  I am funny, like I laugh at my own jokes funny.  I'm loyal, I'm understanding, I'm compassionate, I'm generous,  and I love with one million souls.   So to find myself in this kind of predicament was really weighing on me.  I was holding in so much hate and found it really hard to forgive.  So you know what I did?   In the words of Michael Jackson,